Self Sabotage…Why Do We Do That?
Why is it that we to that? We self-sabotage.
Procrastination is one of my biggest enemies…the sneaky kind who I’m in complete self denial about, open my doors and allow in to raid my fridge, wear my fuzzy slipper and get cozy in my personal space.
By allowing this slick enemy into my space I am causing self-sabotage. You know its happening at one point or another. At some point in the day you take a breath and think,
“What the heck?! How have I let the whole day go by and STILL, I havent done anything I’m suppose to!?”
Ugh! Those light bulb moments suck!
So much has happened in the last 9 months; No, I did not have a baby ::grin:: It’s been crazy but in the last month so much has also developed.
There was a time I had honest to goodness given up on my dreams. I thought my chance or time had past and life was trying to help me move on cause they (my dreams) weren’t meant to be.
At first, that broke my heart…over and over again for a few years. I still tried dabbling here and there to keep the love alive, well actually, I didnt try to keep the love alive, I had to keep killing it cause it continued resurfacing without my permission. Eventually I gave up hoping and chose to accept my new life; a life without my dreams that have always been a part of me in different facets, different seasons of my life.
Much has happened and after late night debates with myself, God, the air…reality gave me a letter. I opened it and it said:
“You wont know unless you try…it’s not too late…try again.”
I closed it up in fear, as if someone might look over my shoulder and see it too. It didnt make sense. I had a million and one reasons to talk myself out of it. I contemplated all of them. I even sought others who I shared my ludicrous idea with hoping they’d side with me on how ridiculous the idea was…that was not the case…not a one of them discouraged it.
That terrified me because that made it more real. After all this time, was it really possible?
Fast Forward: a few weeks later, I took steps towards doing my part. There are certain goals I set for myself daily for multiple reasons. In addition to all that, I have certain responsibilities on top of that.
The days have gone by and here is where that enemy of mine rears its ugly nasty head…Procrastination.
These days I cant afford to allow this thing to ever have place in my personal space. The days are flying by, the months, the years, gone in a blink of an eye. Next thing you know, another year has past and you kick yourself wondering why you did not take advantage and make changes.
Self-Sabotage…everyday…little booby-traps lurking in corners…perfectly justified momentary excuses that tomorrow reflect regrets.
Theres no time to waste…
We need to clear our fridges, or put a lock on them, claim our fuzzy slippers back and kick Procrastination in the ass and tell it to get out!
::standing on a cafeteria table with a megaphone, crowd roaring ::
“Whose with me!?!?!”
Anyway…those are my recent thoughts…No grande solution, conclusion to this story…not yet…working on it.