Day 2 and things are raging…
Day 2 of what? I began a speech fast…”a what?” …a speech fast. “What is that and why in the world would you do that?!” one may ask.
Speech Fast: Fasting (refraining from) speaking….period…
Back in August I received a very deep personal Word at OHOP (Orlando House of Prayer). One of the things spoken was a deep, deep time of consecration, a deep intimacy season, lifestyle and encounter. That was confirmation already to something I had already began to feel the tug towards. Since then I had been waiting for the beginning of that Consecration to begin and it had not yet. It’s October and going back to OHOP felt like the gun shot in the beginning of a runner’s race.
I am strongly feeling tug AND direction. There was something more costly He was asking of me.
This is something that during my internship the Lord stirred in some leadership’s hearts in KC. We were strongly advised NOT to do it. This is a very rare and focused fast that has to be impressed by the Holy Spirit.
Some of the interns still walked into it. I wanted to cause in theory it sounded wise and beneficial, but the understanding, true desire and grace of the Holy Spirit leading it was not there. I thought I would never do one cause it just wasnt for me.
I have asked for months for the Lord to make me Slow to Speak, Quick to Listen and Slow to get Angry… (James 1:19) and I have felt lately that my thoughts and speech need to be refined. I want to not be wordy but speak as a wise man; few words but his words have weight and truth dripping like myrrh.
The Way of the Heart by Henri Nowen (internship book) says:
“Are any of the things we think, say or do worth saying, thinking, or doing?
“Take (away) all the distractions; books, music, calls, friends…complete solitude – naked and sit till all the ugly thoughts, images get tired and go away.”
“In solitude we become compassionate people, deeply aware of our weakness.”
“Silence: (the question to ask ourselves) “IF he/she is not edified by my silence, he/she will not be edified by my speech”. Silence teaches us to speak! Even speaking too many “holy” words isnt safe. The wise restrains his lips! (Prov. 10:19)
When we become wordy when ministering, we have a lack of faith and think we need to help God by our many words; convince others of His power. But it’s what precisely quenches the fire (Vincent Van Gogh) Silence of heart is what makes the difference.”
So here I am, Day 2 and already everything in me wants to scream, chat, counsel, vent, judge, ect…All sorts of refining tactics have already begun.
Today I was given some TERRIBLE customer service and I felt the need to do what worked in the past once. I wanted to write the franchise and complain and make my plea for better service. The entire time I was writing them , I felt to not send it and turn the other cheek and let Him (Jesus) take care of it.
(for some who may wonder and not fully understand what I mean by that; well Jesus is coming back to establish Justice and make all the wrong things right-it’s the truest of true fairy tales except its not, its Truth; hence He’s asked to let vengeance be His.)
Sitting in the prayer room it came up and I knew that most likely they’d write and I’d get a coupon and see changes happen. I began to think how easily we can yes, attempt to take injustice into our own hands and turn away from what He tells us and see results physically before our eyes when we take matters in our hands. This is what has made it so difficult to lean on Him. To believe that He is coming back to avenge EVERY single one (none is insignificant) thing done against His bride cause He’s a Man in love and zeal consumes His heart for His bride and Jealous Jealousy is our Abba in Heaven.
I just need to love, turn the other cheek and bless my offenders! The complete opposite of what this world tells us cause we’re obsessed with having rights!
If you died with Christ Jesus (chosen to love and live for Him for all eternity that is) then you are dead…you have no Rights! (as Rhonda Calhoun this weekend mentioned) We have anything, life only because He lives now in us and gives us life and breath…
This is the small process today… will update on further adventures through out this journey!
Grace and hope for great encounters with Him today over all of you. Hoping is knowing it to be. I have hope because I know it can and will be done…amen!
Posted on October 20, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged consecration, fast, grace, Henri Nowen, Holy Spirit, hope, James 1, Jesus, myrrh, OHOP, Orlando House of Prayer, Rhonda Calhoun, slow to speak, speech fast, Truth. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.