::Coffee Shop Chat:: random thoughts in the life of…
It’s Saturday afternoon…a gorgeous Saturday afternoon might I add- and it’s I would say a pensive one at that. Have you had those moments where the day is just passing by as if it were a montage scene in a movie where the character is just doing a routine at home; washing clothes, eating breakfast, checking emails, chatting with house residents, ect…
Then you break out of the moment, take a breath and look at your surroundings. The fresh air dances around your sheer curtains, the sky between your slightly opened vertical blinds is a brilliant clear bright blue. The music plays in the background almost encouraging your movie moment. Your desires, hopes, goals seem more urgent, fervent. Things you want to do pile up in this overwhelming clutter in your head. I’m sorry, I’m speaking in code here I know, and if you’re waiting for the detailed point of all this, I apologize ahead because you really aren’t going to get it in a blog, if at all. (only because technically, we’re strangers and it just wouldn’t be appropriate…or sane. You understand right? It’s me AND you. Let us not tell lies here. ::wink and a chuckle:: forgive the melodramatics- they’re kicking in early).
It is just one of those days where life kinda paused for a moment and clarity, reality settled in. Choices we make and the reasons behind them. You try not to hold any feelings of anger towards how things have turned out or must be for now and look at the loved ones you are surrounded by and know they need you, are there for you.
Apart of you still wonders if this box you never seem to get out of will crack open a window or lend a friendly door leading towards forward movement.
Ok, after all the “poetic” babble, here’s plain English…
I want to get the heck out of MIAMI! This place has a way of drowning you. I’ve grown up here most of my life thus far and then got to leave for 3 years to a place more Night than Miami’s Day. It was blissful. I don’t see myself going back to this place cause I was there for as long as I needed to be. As of now I’m in this limbo waiting for what’s next. The thing is, if you asked me, “Well, where do you want to go?” I wouldn’t have an answer for you. I’ve never really been anywhere else to know. I do at least know, I want to stay on the East Coast. Where on the East Coast is a “fabulous” question. I’ve never liked planning. I’ve always been more spontaneous. I’ve never wanted to plan even as far ahead as next weekend.
My philosophy is, “you never know”. You never know when something will come up. When someone will find the thing or place to be that day. Most people don’t really stick to their longer term commitments anyway and sadly, I’m a bit of a brat when it comes to doing something you said was going to be done. For example; If you said, “Hey, next month on the weekend of the (insert date here) we’re going to Orlando” or ” the museum” or whatever, and then that day comes and I’m all excited. Waited, remembered the exact day and time we were leaving, then the day comes and, “Just kidding, we’re not going…sorry…”
Yea, not much of a fan, so I don’t always plan far ahead.
My point was, that I’m waiting for life to surprise me. Take me on a adventure. There is definitely much I want to do, experience and see that the possibilities are endless.
Some of you might be saying, “Well, hey! Stop whining, and get out there! Just do it! Jump in and run around no apologies!”
Here’s the thing. I do know this much. With everything I want to do and see; I don’t want or need Empty Ventures. I dont want or need Empty rooms full of people. I don’t want or need long Empty evenings masking hurt, doubt, confusion, unanswered question, shaky foundations.
When I do get out there and find adventure (if that’s whats in the cards for me) I want to walk away from each and every experience feeling that thing you feel when you turn around facing where you have just been and Sigh with a crooked smile. Knowing inside that you’ll always carry that day, that 5 second moment, that place in that Life collage stored away where only you access and choose to share.
Any-hoo … It’s a beautiful day and I must take advantage of it. I hope you all enjoy yours.
tip# 235 If he is Not worth your time, Why are you letting him occupy your thoughts and emotions over and over and over…