Every Woman Chooses the Love Life she Has!
Every Woman Chooses the Love Life she Has!
A dead beat male character told a “confident” woman in a film that “Every woman chooses the Love Life she HAS”.
Hm…. To say the least, she was NOT pleased with that remark and to be honest at first, neither was I.
I thought, “That’s ridiculous! A woman doesn’t choose to be single and lonely, or cheated on and used, or not have prince charming. That’s not OUR faults as women? Seriously?”
But as time past, and even recently when I unraveled the concept it hit me. That it actually is so true! We as woman DO choose the Love Life we have and want.
For instance, let’s start with me. Already as a woman I start with the, “I don’t want to be alone, not in a relationship. I want to find that someone. It’s these guys, they’re this or that, or they typically like this and that, or that decent looking guy didn’t flirt with me, why?” blah blah blah. But why am I single? What Love Life do I want hence I have?
I want the “Prince Charming” that is NOT in romantic comedy movies but the real thing. The chivalrous, charming, loving, full of integrity, man not boy of valor and virtue. A man who will stand up for me, fight for me, die for me, love and cherish me and never want any one else from the moment he realizes he loves me. The ideal real happy ending where we kick and scream and fight and mold each other from our differences and yet balance each other perfectly because of them. The stuff we were created for. And settling is NOT in this girl’s vocabulary.
So funny enough just yesterday, I was thinking and you know how you get those momentary ‘”whats wrong with me that they (guys) don’t seem interested, curious?” and then I thought:
“Wait a minute. Is there even a guy you’ve seen that you’re interested in? No…Is there a guy you’ve spotted that seems grownup, and worth it as of now? No… then why are you beating yourself up! and placing someone else’s time line, expectations on you. You’re still single because you’ve made the choice to wait for him. Knowing he’s out there, the real deal, not the Disney characters; you’ve chosen to be that girl who’ll wait and wont settle for anything less than the best which is what I was created for. Is there second bests that you’ll be just as happy with in the end. Sure. But is that what you want?
No. That’s not the Love Story I want.
In the end every girl at one point or another wants/wanted Prince Charming. The one who would be there till the end, still even more in love than he was when you both first said “I DO”. But as they grew up, and life happens (all walks, good circumstances and bad) they’re wants changed.
Some find themselves constantly with the dead beats who don’t really care, and they both get tired of each other but the bad boy seems to bring a thrill that makes mundane life at least feel different every couple of months or so. If this weren’t the Love Life you wanted, why make the same decisions and choices that lead up to where your Love Life currently stands?
Other woman are more innocent and deep down want to get married already and not come home to empty living, so they go out with the girls to clubs and bars, and lounges, ect. or try E Harmony, blind dates and are frustrated cause they think, Guys suck! and relationships just dont last.
Well ask yourself, were you just going through the check list of criteria that would briefly get this guy past GO, Collect $200 landing on Marriage Blvd? Are your hunting destinations really where you expect to find a quality guy?
The decisions we make towards men/boys (whatever your cup of tea, which, then again could also be your problem) and what we allow them to get away with is the reason for the Love Life you yourself have chosen to have.
If your smitten and attracted to men and love the excitement and mystery and independence to dive into something new that is still a mystery to solve, then awesome! But just know that the mystery dies, attraction varies in personalities, and behind the pretty mural curtain, lies the true piles of baggage that first impressions (that last for months even) hide with GLADE plug ins that mask the smell! So what happens? Some get into a relationship with this person they don’t truly know and realize later, earlier, (all depending) that this is not exactly what they wanted.
Some have allowed the relationship to linger with Hopes of not wanting to see the disappointment. Others, just end it. Frustrated with the energy and heart lost, they wait hoping the next one will be it. But then the next curious attraction comes, and the next and the next. Now we have our lovely, confident, living her life woman wondering, “I dont get it… why am I still in this place. Wheres my ring, house, 2 1/2 kids? This isn’t the Love Life I wanted?”
Isnt it? Didnt the choices you make lead to the exact Love Life you have?
We blame the men very easily. Granted Men, you have your faults in the matter but that’s another blog, book, epic 5 movie deal, for another time! But woman, if we continue to allow them to be boys, allow them to sit back while you as the women chase when it’s his lazy behind that needs to be a MAN! then what do you expect?
Back in lets say Victorian times, period film eras; Men didn’t have a choice! They HAD to work for it. They had to be chivalrous to be noticed. They had to flatter in eloquence and propriety or forget it! He’d never be given the time of day by the girl or the girls family. And without everyones approval, you were screwed. Sucked for the women who remained old maids while the men were able to hide behind the facade that at least they were lucky and could take as long as they wanted without the shameful reputation of single life that a woman would receive. Inside… the men wanted love and marriage the right way just as much as the woman did.
Women, men now a days don’t work for it… why? Cause you’re doing all the work for them! You have chosen the Love Life you want hence, you have!
We have those who rush into relationships (where it’s all attraction and physical and so, here lies a blanket covering reality) but they think, this is it! this is love! So then comes marriage and we have couples resentful because something changed? Someone changed?
NO ONE CHANGED! The same person you sucked face with a year ago, 5 months ago is still the same person now! You just never got to know them enough to KNOW that this is the person you married or ended up dating, ect.
So woman and their Mommy nurturing habit and men and thier Mommy complex hate each other cause the woman married POTENTIAL, NOT REALITY! The man married/dated the exciting hopeful woman who was still wearing her layers similiar to first impression but not yet comfortable to show herself. So all too common we get… Failed Relationships… why ?
Cause every woman chooses the Love Life she HAS!
I feel sorry for the man who will work for my heart cause it will NOT be easy and no handsome flow Joe from across the street will make his way in just like that. But I’m excited too, cause when it’s time and when it’s right, I’ll know! There wont be the clutter of modern day emotional chaos of dating random people I don’t know with a pretty face. It’ll be a story, it’ll be an example to my future children. It’ll be hope to other woman! It’ll be a reflection of my God and it’ll be how it was created to be. That’s the Love Life I choose and my everyday decisions reflect it. Do yours?
I could go on forever on this but I’ll leave it here for now. Had the thoughts fresh in my head and a friend advised, let em’ out! (her advisement granted was actually a BIGGER project suggestion than a BLOG but I figured, let’s start small)
Enjoy all! Night!
Posted on December 30, 2009, in Uncategorized and tagged BLOG, breakup, chivalry, courtship, dates, divorce, happily ever after, love, love life, marriage, married, prince charming, victorian, woman, women. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.